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a novel i've started writing


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#1 Commander Lazar

 

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Posted 29 January 2012 - 04:32 AM

there's a sci fi action novel i've started writing. here's what i've written so far...

Warrior of Peace
Chapter one


PU Raven class star fighter, The Red Falcon, six a.m. Earth date, January 27, 2343. Mission, patrolling the Zorgon Earth border.
Jack was sleeping in a family class quarter, with his wife and daughter. He always knew that keeping his daughter Liana on a battle cruiser was dangerous for her, but he didn't want her growing up like him... without a father. He wanted her to be happy, and to become a Peace Unity officer like him and his wife.
He felt a slight electric impulse going down his spine, which instantly woke him up. He pressed the small button on a coffee table beside his bed and the tingling stopped. He put his feet on the side of his bed and stopped for a second to think which tie he's going to wear today. ''Nah, it's not important.'' he thought to himself. When he looked up towards the clock he saw it's 6:03 o'clock.
He got up and stretched. He yawned, and then looked toward the closet. He put on the standard issue uniform, and proudly clipped on a badge that said Lt. Jack Peeckeeper. He quietly got out of the room, trying not to wake up his wife. But too late. ''Where ya goin' Jack? It's only ...'' she looked up at the clock, and continued ''a quarter past six. it's a little early don't you think?''. Jack sighed, ''The Admiral wants me in the briefing room by half past six... he said it's something important.''. His wife narrowed her eyes, ''Every time something is 'important' you end up going on two week missions. Just be careful.''. ''Don't worry. You just take care of Liana. I'll be back in an hour.''. ''You better be.'' she smiled. He smiled, and with no words excited the room. His wife fell back in her bed and sighed.
After passing through some unusually empty corridors he reached a transporter pod tunnel. It was huge, yet very clean. He approached a nearby panel, which showed sixty and more buttons. The number of decks the mighty Red Falcon had. He pressed level 13, by the button, blue letters said BRIDGE. A pod came in incredible speed from the other end of the tunnel. The doors automatically opened and he entered. He sat down at one of the seats and then a female voice said, ''Which section?''. He answered, ''Section B.''.
With the speed of sound he reached section B. ''God damn it, I hope it ain't another one of those inteplanetary missions'' he thought to himself while getting out of the pod. He looked around only to see a maintenance worker repairing a broken panel.
''Where is everyone?'' he asked the worker. ''I've heard there's been a little fuss on the bridge. Everyone's there.''. ''Hmm... Alright Jack, thanks.''. Jack made his way towards the bridge more worried by each step he took. ''What's happened to all the people?'' he asked himself.
He reached the door on which it said BRIDGE. He tipped in the entrance code and the doors opened. The bridge was swarming with people too busy to see the door opening. ''What the hell?'' he said. The admiral heard him and and said, ''Oh, hi Jack. Come here.''. He was confused, ''Yes, sir... What's the problem?''.

Edited by Commander Lazar, 09 February 2012 - 09:07 AM.


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#2 GalacticGal

 

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Posted 01 February 2012 - 02:02 PM

there's a sci fi action novel i've started writing. here's what i've written so far...

Warrior of Peace
The Admiral was standing near


This has me intrigued and I would like to read more.

Edited by GalacticGal, 01 February 2012 - 02:09 PM.

"I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once!"

#3 Commander Lazar

 

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Posted 03 February 2012 - 10:12 AM

This has me intrigued and I would like to read more.

okay! welcome to the forum and thanks for reading!

#4 TCyredanea

 

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Posted 04 February 2012 - 02:15 PM

Nice cliffhanger. I'd like to read more as well :) .

"Science fiction is the most important literature in the history of the world, because it's the history of ideas, the history of our civilization birthing itself. ... (Ray Bradbury)"

#5 Beast Boy

 

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 10:33 AM

Commander Lazar,you novel is awesome!!!Ihope what continue will be in future?
Me very liked,writed as detective story.Action scenes don't have but this even good,because you fan fiction as one episode classic "Star Trek" 1966 year.I really was give enjoy,read this novel.

Edited by Beast Boy, 05 February 2012 - 10:38 AM.

gKZxu0v.jpg?1


#6 Commander Lazar

 

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Posted 07 February 2012 - 10:43 AM

sorry i mixed his name with another the one of another character. He's supposed to be called Jack not Robert. Silly me.

Edited by Commander Lazar, 07 February 2012 - 10:47 AM.


#7 Commander Lazar

 

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Posted 07 February 2012 - 12:18 PM

Nice cliffhanger. I'd like to read more as well :) .

thanks! i'm a bit slow with writing.

Commander Lazar,you novel is awesome!!!Ihope what continue will be in future?
Me very liked,writed as detective story.Action scenes don't have but this even good,because you fan fiction as one episode classic "Star Trek" 1966 year.I really was give enjoy,read this novel.

thanks. don't worry there's gonna be a lot of action! and a lot of space battles! this is not a star trek fan fic or anything. it's my own story.

#8 Commander Lazar

 

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Posted 07 February 2012 - 12:46 PM

This story is called ''Warrior of Peace: One Man against a superior species''. It's gonna be based(more or less) on the Norse myth about the god of war Tyr. A lot of things are going to be named like the beings from the mythology like the Zorgon Fenrir warriors(one of them is going to bite of Jack's or Tyr's arm), the dropships called valkyries, the Jormungand(evil serpent) grunts, the Zorgon battleship called Ragnarok(in short- destruction), planet called Niflheim(underworld), the main villain Loki(god of fire-evil guy) and his daughter Hela(goddess of the underworld). There's gonna be a lot more.

Here's part two.

The Admiral was standing next to the table where all the briefing were held.
''What's wrong Admiral?'', ''Our radars have just picked up debris... From a HDU star fighter.''. ''What the hell?''. ''That was my reaction too. But our field pods detected laser burns and quantum missile penetrations...''. ''But the only race that posses that knowledge are the...'', ''Zorgon... I know. Our field pods have also detected some strange organic residue. It's not human... It's Zorgon. But it's swarming with some strange nanites. I guess the Zorgon army has decided to improve their soldiers.''. Jack was shocked, ''It's been twenty two years since the peace treaty! Why are they attacking now?''. Jack's father died fighting for peace. For the Zorgon Human war to end. It lasted over thirty years and both sides got to their minds and declared peace. ''That's what we're going to find out... I'm going to send a squad of Asyrs(heavy armored marines) to a nebula nearby in a Valkyrie strike transport. You're going to command the squad.''. Jack stayed frozen. ''But sir! I've got a family here...''. ''I don't give a damn! Billions of lives may depend upon you and your squad! Your mission is to get inside the nebula and see what's out there. Whatever it is, just destroy it! The Valkyrie holds two nukes! Better use them visely. We'll be waiting for you here.''. ''Sir, what gives you the idea that something's hidding in the nebula?''. ''This part of space hold only ten solar systems. Only two of them can support life. Our telescopes would've spotted a Zorgon destroyer if it was nearby. And the HUD star fighter that was destroyed was behind the nebula out of our scopes sight... You and team ''Odin'' are going! Is that clear!?''. Jack said talking very slowly barely restraining himself from braking the admirals nose, ''Sir, what if the Zorgon attack while we're in that nebula? You'll be missing your best squad.''. ''I assure you they won't.'' the admiral said casualy. Jack sighed. ''You're leaving at twelve hundred. Hangar bay 7. '' Jack sighed and made his way towards the exit... ''And Jack... Good luck son.'' The Admiral added. Jack didn't give an answer. In his mind he's killed the Admiral twenty times. He was so angry. He walked off the bridge and into the corridors. ''Why me? Why couldn't he just picked another marine? And how will i break it to my wife? I guess I haven't got a choice.''
Once again he approached the transport pod tunel. He pressed ''Deck 47'' and entered the pod.

Edited by Commander Lazar, 09 February 2012 - 05:58 PM.


#9 Beast Boy

 

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Posted 08 February 2012 - 04:19 AM

Commander Lazar,this is awesome novel.Me really very like continue story,will be with enjoy wait continue this amazing story.If i don't mistake personage jake-he from series "Ds9",he are son commander Sisco or i mistake?

gKZxu0v.jpg?1


#10 Commander Lazar

 

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Posted 08 February 2012 - 02:35 PM

Commander Lazar,this is awesome novel.Me really very like continue story,will be with enjoy wait continue this amazing story.If i don't mistake personage jake-he from series "Ds9",he are son commander Sisco or i mistake?

Beast Boy this is not Star trek! It's my own sci fi story. So this isn't Jake from DS9. Anyway thanks for reading!

Edited by Commander Lazar, 08 February 2012 - 02:37 PM.


#11 Guest_acistoth_*

 

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 08:05 AM

Nice story.. I liked it. Keep posting more stories like these. :)

Edited by acistoth, 09 February 2012 - 08:07 AM.


#12 Commander Lazar

 

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 08:28 AM

this is the gun i've drawn. what do you think?

just click on the picture and it'll show up bigger.

Attached Thumbnails

  • ST-11 gun 2.JPG

Edited by Commander Lazar, 09 February 2012 - 08:29 AM.


#13 Beast Boy

 

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 08:29 AM

Commander Lazar,excelelnt draw.This is phaser or plasma weapon?

gKZxu0v.jpg?1


#14 Commander Lazar

 

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 08:35 AM

sorry i'm not that good at drawing.

Commander Lazar,excelelnt draw.This is phaser or plasma weapon?

no, it's a normal gun.

Nice story.. I liked it. Keep posting more stories like these. :)

thanks! i shall.

#15 Commander Lazar

 

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 09:03 AM

Okay, here's the Fenrir warrior.

Click on the picture to make it bigger.

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  • Fenrir Warrior.JPG


#16 Beast Boy

 

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 11:12 AM

Okay, here's the Fenrir warrior.

Click on the picture to make it bigger.


Commander Lazar,you very good draw.Me like how you draw personage for you novel.
You very good draw and i don't fear say-excellent! :thumbsup:

gKZxu0v.jpg?1


#17 Commander Lazar

 

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 05:54 PM

Commander Lazar,you very good draw.Me like how you draw personage for you novel.
You very good draw and i don't fear say-excellent! :thumbsup:

thanks!

#18 TCyredanea

 

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 10:24 AM

I like it so far. And I like the drawings as well. Good job!!!

"Science fiction is the most important literature in the history of the world, because it's the history of ideas, the history of our civilization birthing itself. ... (Ray Bradbury)"

#19 Beast Boy

 

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 09:55 AM

I very like this fan fiction,commander Lazar,you will be writing continue this amazing and awesome novel?
Me very like how you draw weapon and Fenrir warrior.Good job,Lazar!!! Will be wait continue this novel.

gKZxu0v.jpg?1


#20 Commander Lazar

 

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 03:26 PM

I like it so far. And I like the drawings as well. Good job!!!

Thanks. School just started after a two week pause because of all the snow and i've been buried in work. It may come a little slow. Glad you like the drawings. The first one was just a design the second one was the real thing.

Edited by Commander Lazar, 23 February 2012 - 03:32 PM.





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