[ensign edwards]

Once, We Were Explorers
Anonymous - Blog submitted to Starfleet News Feed for publication
1 July, 2157

Once, we were explorers. Now we're soldiers. That's the reality that everyone in Starfleet has to cope with. We signed up because we wanted to see things no one had ever seen before. We wanted to meet new species and discover new things. Now we're fighting for our lives, and for the lives of everyone on Earth.

We all knew exploration would be dangerous (though I always tried to ignore that part of it), but I don't think anyone expected this. Even tactical officers couldn't have been expecting to fight a full-scale war.

It's all so hard to believe, isn't it? Not that long ago, war came to an end on Earth. We were ready to move on and grow up as a species. But as soon as we make it to the stars, war finds us.

I wasn't cut out for this.

Everyone's trying to find different ways to cope with the change. A handful have embraced it. They're happy to fight the good fight and protect their families back home. But for most of us, it's not that easy. Some people have refused to accept the change at all and started scrambling for the handful of assignments still devoted to our original mission (not a day goes by that I don't think about joining them). But I think most people still haven't decided on how to cope. I know I haven't. There may have been warning signs--we've known the Romulans were a threat for a while now--but the war itself broke out so fast that I think a lot of us still haven't digested it.

I don't understand what keeps me going. Maybe it's the friendships I've developed. My friends keep fighting, and so I have to keep fighting too (meanwhile, they're probably thinking the same thing). I'm sure a sense of duty is part of it. I've been through bad times in the service of Starfleet before, and knowledge of the stakes kept me going forward. But a war like this is something new, and to be honest, I'm not fully sure how I kept on in the past, either.

I didn't sign up for this. None of us did. We're probably the first army of our kind in history. We didn't volunteer to fight, and we weren't drafted to fight. We never expected to fight. We just started fighting, because we're all Earth has out here. The other Coalition worlds have standing armies and fleets crewed by trained soldiers. Earth just has us.

Maybe that's why we keep going. Because we know there's nothing else. Having no choice doesn't make it any easier to accept, though.

I don't know why I'm writing this, or why I'm going to submit it to the SNF. I don't have a point to make. I guess I just feel alone sometimes, and this seems like it could help. I've always been good with words; this seems like a good way to get things off my chest. Even if it doesn't help me much, maybe someone else will read this and feel a little less alone.

This Dispatches from the Romulan War report was submitted by ensign edwards.

[Terilynn]

Excellent piece - nice to see the "personal" side of those struggling to deal with the onslaught. Really - wonderfully done.

[ensign edwards]

Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was thinking the series needed something a little different, and I've always regretted that it doesn't show the human side of things much, so this seemed like a good option.

[Bill]

Great installment EE.