[lwallace2]

Hi all!

Okay, so I grew up in Fargo, ND and moved to sunny CA (yay!) when I was 14. I have lived here since, and am now age 34 with a soon-to-be 14 year old daughter. I've been wanting to visit my old stomping grounds and take my daughter to show her where I grew up (not that there's a ton to see or do there, but never mind that...).

So I was thinking: Road trip!

I've never undertaken something like this and was wondering if any of you out there have gone on cross-country road trips (or know anyone who has shared stories of such trips) and if so, do you have any advice or tips or whatever. I do want it to be about the journey as much as the destination, but within reason, as I'd prefer to get there and back in about 10 to 12 days. 14 MAX.

Keep in mind, I am a blond haired blue eyed cutey and my daughter is also a looker if I do say so myself, and if we are going alone I worry a little about... well... safety. I know most people are nice and not weird or deranged, but I still get a little nervous when I find myself in not-so-great neighborhoods. So if you especially have any pointers on safety or maybe the best self-protection supplies I would appreciate it!

This isn't anything I'm going to do real soon, but it's been percolating in my brain for some time now and I'd like to do it before my daughter considers it a total pain in the butt rather than an adventure (I realize I might already be too late for that, but oh well! A factor that may save me - and her - is that she does love to travel, and I would probably give her extra texting and internet features on her cell phone so she could entertain herself with texting and IM'ing and chatting with friends, etc. when we're doing the long drives down boring highways).

[Madame President]

don't do it. in my experience family road trips always end up with nobody having the greatest time. on the other hand, it may be okay since she's older. my siblings are little and, to be honest, road trips are a complete nightmare.

[Russell Crowe]

As to the cell phone thing - good luck getting consistent service out in the middle of North Dakota

[lwallace2]

Russell Crowe, on May 2 2007, 03:27 PM, said:

As to the cell phone thing - good luck getting consistent service out in the middle of North Dakota

LOL! I hadn't thought of that... It's Verizon and they've been pretty good so far, but then I've never tested it in ND yet either...

Madame President, on May 2 2007, 03:25 PM, said:

don't do it. in my experience family road trips always end up with nobody having the greatest time. on the other hand, it may be okay since she's older. my siblings are little and, to be honest, road trips are a complete nightmare.

I see your point, and I would agree if there were multiple family members/siblings tagging along. whenever it's just me and my daughter, we usually have a good time when we go places because we set our own schedule and we're both pretty laid back and have similar tastes and interests. one of my favorite vacations ever was 3 days at Disneyland, just me and her when she was around 10 years old. vacations are so much better when you don't have to try to cater to multiple people's needs, and try to coordinate stuff and make people get along for long periods of time in the car! LOL!

[Madame President]

lwallace2, on May 2 2007, 05:36 PM, said:

LOL! I hadn't thought of that... It's Verizon and they've been pretty good so far, but then I've never tested it in ND yet either...

FWIW, I recently got back from a bus trip to and from missouri. 30 hours each way. basically everyone I know has verizon except me and the reception was pretty patchy.

[antoniawaits]

lwallace2, on May 2 2007, 01:32 PM, said:

I've never undertaken something like this and was wondering if any of you out there have gone on cross-country road trips (or know anyone who has shared stories of such trips) and if so, do you have any advice or tips or whatever. I do want it to be about the journey as much as the destination, but within reason, as I'd prefer to get there and back in about 10 to 12 days. 14 MAX.

.
.
.
Keep in mind, I am a blond haired blue eyed cutey and my daughter is also a looker if I do say so myself, and if we are going alone I worry a little about... well... safety.

A few years back, I took a 28-day road trip from Portland, down through Zion, through Arizona, NM, TX to pick up a girlfriend and then to New Orleans Jazz Fest, then drove back to TX, then to Georgia where I dropped her off, then to FL for the white sands and NASA...THEN up the east coast to NY. Then a bee-line back through Chicago, Yosemite, Badlands, etc. The grandpappy of all road trips. 10,000 miles in one lunar cycle. Most of it by myself. The best parts of it, actually, by myself.

I took it by myself so I could clear my head. I'm a techie to the point of distraction, and I deliberately left the gear at home. I camped out. I communed with the bugs and the strange noises. I occasionally stayed in a motel, but it was mostly just so I could get a shower out of it. But most of all, I just found quiet places to Be.

I am also a blond haired cutey, though my eyes are green so perhaps I'm slightly less at risk than you are, but the only time I felt unsafe was on the coast in Florida. I'd had a rattling couple of days with my friend's family in Georgia and was all in a kerfuffle. I just needed to get the phlox out of there. My first night camping on the FL coast, I randomly picked a spot that happened to be across the highway from a biker bar. So I was between a bar and the beach. You do the math on that.

After 2 hours of the wind whipping at my tent and me thinking it was a drunken biker coming to finally do me in, I threw in the towel on tent camping and dragged my bag into front seat of my car. (Bucket seats...yay.)

In the process of getting into the car, I happened to walk through a nest of fire ants and not realize it until they were already on me and I'd tracked a bunch into the car. Thereupon I commenced to slapping myself randomly at the vaguest twitch or tickle...for another 2 hours. The next night I checked into a ritzy hotel and sat on the beach with "Skinny Legs and All" by Tom Robbins, turning red and drinking blue drinks just to reset my "vacation mode."

But it's funny, I wouldn't exchange any of those experiences. Except for maybe the whole NOLA-Georgia thing. I hadn't really realized what I was going to get myself into.

So, I guess that the advice I have for you is:

• Don't overplan it. Be prepared to be uncomfortable. Discomfort + flexibility = growth.
  
• Treat all strangers as friends you haven't met yet - eye contact, asking after their welfare, where they're from, etc. But if someone is "tweaky" or sets off your Spidey Sense, make a polite exit. People are good - if they weren't, we wouldn't be shocked when they do something terrible.
  
• Find nature. Zion was a life-changing experience for me. You'll be leaving about the same of year that I did. Zion is a worthy destination, and to let your daughter see its majesty before global warming catches up with us any more than it has, well, that might be worth the trip in itself.
  
• Don't spend all your time driving.
  
• If you *do* have a destination in mind, it certainly wouldn't hurt to read up on it a little bit before get there. Get some general information about its surroundings, too, so that when you do get there, you have a general idea of what there is to do, without having to itemize your itinerary.
  
• When on a road trip with another person, multiply your very best restaurant manners by about 20. It will keep family relations civil at worst.
  
• Pack sunscreen! And a road atlas!
  
• Don't drive up a road that says both "dead end" and "unimproved road" and think to yourself, "I'm in a Subaru. I'll be fine." Sometimes you're not fine.
  
• Ask the locals in town about roads, restaurants, grocery stores...pretend like you're lost, even if you're not. You'll get some good stories out of them.
  
• Remember that whatever stress you're going through on the road would probably look pretty funny to someone watching it on a home video...and that someday, you'll be laughing about it too. Might as well start laughing now before you ruin your trip.

--AW

[JediMonkey]

If in Florida bypass US-41. Had some bad luck on that interstate when I took a road trip down to Florida with a couple of friends.

[Trek Realist]

My parents did a road trip one year when my younger brother was 19 (I would have been 23 at the time). The reason that my parents insanely chose to do this was because they had already planned the trip, but my brother had been injured in a workplace accident and couldn't be left alone (he broke his ankle). It was a two week trip from Edmonton, down to Victoria BC, through the west coast states, Nevada, Utah, Idaho, Montana and back into Alberta. At the end of the two weeks I nearly became the only male heir of the family because my parents were eager to kill my brother. Appearantly my brother came up with a different, and entirely far fetched, story in every restaurant they went to in order to explain his cast. These stories ranged from cliffdiving in Mexico, to wounded in Viet Nam, to my mother pushing him down the basement stairs in a drunken rage

The biggest problem with all these stories was my brother's delivery. It was so deadpan and so believable that unless you knew him and my parents you were absolutely sold on what he was telling you. My brother is the kind of guy that can sell sno-cones to Eskimos and make a million dollars doing it

The moral of the story is twofold

1) Never let someone smarter than you get bored

2) Establish ground rules before you leave

[lwallace2]

Great stories and advice! Thanks guys and gals!

I have to admit I am a planner. I plan everything. For trips, that's half the fun for me. Plus I hate being caught unprepared or off guard, though I usually handle it pretty well when I am (though I can get pretty frantic and upset when I get lost while on my way to an appointment because I don't want to have to reschedule... LOL).

I also like comfort. It doesn't have to be a posh hotel, but I like a bed and protection from the elements and a bathroom nearby. And my daughter LOVES her hot showers... I have an auto-immune disorder that causes circulation problems and inflammation in my joints so I can't really "rough it" without ending up in pain. So no sleeping on the ground or hiking long distances for me! (I just moved into a new apartment last weekend and my body STILL feels like I got hit by a semi!)

On the bright side, I like to avoid conflict and try to make the best of bad situations - probably because I grew up with parents who fought all the time. My sense of adventure is a bit rusty because I've played responsible single mom for the last 14 years and haven't had much of a life beyond that, but maybe that fact will actually make the trip more enjoyable.

I won't be going anywhere near Florida if I'm going from CA to ND and back, but thanks for the warnings!

Considering all my "limitations" and personality quirks, I see that a long road trip could end up being not such a great idea. But worst case scenario if I hate it I can always turn around early and come back home! LOL! That's the great thing about being the one in charge... haha

Unfortunately my daughter is definitely smarter than me and gets bored easily (a product of the current instant-gratification society) so I guess I'll just have to pray that I can keep her out of trouble... One thing that would probably help is put her in charge of filming our adventure. Turning on a camera automatically turns us into a couple of goofballs.

[ensign edwards]

Wow and I thought I had a long road trip when we went to pont rouge for Mom's birthday. That was six hours and I was ready to go insane. I wouldn't try going longer than that.

[Captain_Hair]

Let's see... I've done 8 hours to Valley Forge/Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and 10 hours to Fort Jackson, South Carolina. Any other time I've always flown.

Both those road trips involved the parentals, so I can't say it was a great time.

[lwallace2]

Captain_Hair, on May 3 2007, 09:42 AM, said:

Let's see... I've done 8 hours to Valley Forge/Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and 10 hours to Fort Jackson, South Carolina. Any other time I've always flown.

Both those road trips involved the parentals, so I can't say it was a great time.

Yeah maybe i'm being too optimistic that my daughter would actually enjoy hanging out with her mom for 10 days straight - LOL

[mlaz]

My first road trip was with my mom, I must have been a pain in the neck at the time but I still have great memories of it looking at the pictures now, and got to know a different side of my mom.
Made some more trips later on alone, with one other person and with groups and loved it all.
people are amazing and most of them are so nice.

antoniawaits, on May 3 2007, 02:45 AM, said:

I guess that the advice I have for you is:

• Don't overplan it. Be prepared to be uncomfortable. Discomfort + flexibility = growth.
  
• Treat all strangers as friends you haven't met yet - eye contact, asking after their welfare, where they're from, etc. But if someone is "tweaky" or sets off your Spidey Sense, make a polite exit. People are good - if they weren't, we wouldn't be shocked when they do something terrible.
  
• Find nature. Zion was a life-changing experience for me. You'll be leaving about the same of year that I did. Zion is a worthy destination, and to let your daughter see its majesty before global warming catches up with us any more than it has, well, that might be worth the trip in itself.
  
• Don't spend all your time driving.
  
• If you *do* have a destination in mind, it certainly wouldn't hurt to read up on it a little bit before get there. Get some general information about its surroundings, too, so that when you do get there, you have a general idea of what there is to do, without having to itemize your itinerary.
  
• When on a road trip with another person, multiply your very best restaurant manners by about 20. It will keep family relations civil at worst.
  
• Pack sunscreen! And a road atlas!
  
• Don't drive up a road that says both "dead end" and "unimproved road" and think to yourself, "I'm in a Subaru. I'll be fine." Sometimes you're not fine.
  
• Ask the locals in town about roads, restaurants, grocery stores...pretend like you're lost, even if you're not. You'll get some good stories out of them.
  
• Remember that whatever stress you're going through on the road would probably look pretty funny to someone watching it on a home video...and that someday, you'll be laughing about it too. Might as well start laughing now before you ruin your trip.

--AW

sounds like solid advice, and realy get to know people as you travel they will amaze you.

[jonathan]

yup i recently drove from lincoln, nebraska to vancouver, washington wow what a drive.